Previous Entry Share Next Entry
Complicated
malk
psychospastic
Pulling firing pins out of guns, Bandaging wounds, dumping empty liquor bottles....

Musing the dirty thoughts that inhabit my mind, feeling my sexual hunger and dominance rear forth like a primal roar, wrapping myself in words of hypothetical actions better played out....

Such contrast and yet this is where I sit trying to stay up as late as I can so I can become nocturnal again in about a day and a half, something not out of the question for me since I really belong here, in the lands of sleep for most and still darkness for me.  Only a few more hours til I can sleep through the dawn and into the day that most go about their work lives while I dream.  Some part of me makes me feel powerful to break the wheel, to live at the other side of the clock than most other people, while they get ready for their day, stressed and counting the hours, I am settling, done all I can do and ready to play with my daughter, to sleep, catch naps with her while everyone runs about their day, and yet I have nowhere to be and the only thing I care about is to eek out a few hours of sleep.  While others dream I run the platoon of the graveyard shift, we stock, we clean, and we organize things, customers becomes thieves, the ringing phone becomes unimportant and our service is get your shit and get out to the public.

Sometimes life can become so loud you need your times to dip your head almost under the water, like lowering yourself to just eye level, your ears under the surface to look at the calm waters before you, it also helps if you need to scream out in frustration not to add to the noise outside the water....

So little far far too late, the desperation is a push to a car long broken down, the way time works you cannot go back, find yourself again if you please but don't expect everything to fix

So little you have to do to make me smile, the frustration so delicious its like being hungry for the finest cut of meat to be hovered in front of your face, dangerous fantasies that range so widely I wonder what my mind is really screaming at me


 

?

Log in

No account? Create an account